Remember that 6-year-old version of you who screamed “NO!” like it was a superpower? Guess what? She was onto something. It’s in those childhood moments when we start defining what we want—or at least trying to, before the world tells us otherwise. My mom used to say, “All you do is want, want, want!” Well, duh! I was trying to figure out who I was! But every time I got shut down, I missed out on learning what’s important to me in love and life. Fast forward, and now I’m crystal clear—like Sardinian water kind of clear.
So, why the pep talk? Because a lot of women can’t say NO. No to men, no to family, no to restaurants they don’t like. When I ask why, they say, “I feel bad!” Listen, darling, other people’s feelings about your self-love? Not. Your. Problem. Sure, be classy about it (I’ve got a communication class for that), but claim what lights you up inside.
Every time you compromise on what you truly want, your confidence takes a hit. It’s like death by a thousand tiny paper cuts. And before you know it, you’re making choices that don’t serve you—like settling for Mr. Meh. Let me share a little story: I’m right here on this journey with you, sharing my highs and lows (because it works!). One of my clients watched me say NO to five solid men in just two weeks. Her jaw dropped. “You’re so strong!” she said. But it’s not strength—it’s knowing I deserve GREAT, not just good.
Sure, it’d be easy to say yes to fancy dinners and skip those lonely Friday nights. But holding out for someone amazing? That’s where the real magic happens. I call it the harder right over the easier wrong. If I can do it, so can you! I’ve had clients secretly grumble about my “just say no” strategy—until, surprise! A fantastic man shows up, and now they’re on cloud nine.
The first NO feels awkward, like trying on heels that are a half-size too small. But by the third NO? You’ll feel powerful—and let’s be honest, pretty darn sexy! And those people you’re worried about judging you? They won’t even bat an eye. They’ll just hear the NO and move on with their day. Raising your standards is a journey, confidence is a skill, and self-worth takes time. But learning to say NO? That’s a game-changer.
So go ahead—give it a try. And don’t forget to laugh along the way!